Monday, March 10, 2014

Killers- Not the Band

Bjorn and I were shopping in Idaho Falls and of course, I couldn't resist Barnes&Noble. This serial killer book was right in the doorway, screaming, "I'm only $8.98!" and, "I'm full of interesting and horrifying facts that will fascinate and simultaneously keep you up late!". Normally I probably would've ignored it, but I had a Christmas gift card in need of spending.

So, much to it's delight it came home with us to live on our nightstand, next to a boisterous alarm clock and a lotion bottle with a rather hollow personality. The book has proven true to it's sales pitch. We read a couple chapters just before bed each night and murderous bed time stories make for disturbing dreams. They also make me rather jumpy on my nighttime bathroom trips. So why do we keep reading it?

Well, for one thing this book has taught me several lessons about parenting:
  • DO NOT be a domineering mother
  • If your child wets the bed late- get him to a psychologist
  • If your child robs houses in order to steal girl's panties- get him to psychologist
  • If your child thinks animals are giving him orders/has sex with them/kills them- get him to a psychologist
  • If your child admires Nazis- get him to a psychologist
(I said him because nearly all of history's serial killers have been male.)

I have also learned several tricks of how to survive serial killer attacks:
  • Don't be a prostitute 
  • Don't hitch hike ever
  • If you're being stabbed or shot, play dead
  • If you have an opportunity to fight/jump from a car, do it
  • Really, seriously don't be a prostitute 
Aside from those lessons, the book is simply really interesting. It is amazing to me that such twisted and sadistic individuals can even exist. That they are born- wrong, and or they are molded by their families and society into real monsters. I would assert that broken brains are really the most powerful weapon a serial killer has. They may have muscles or guns or ropes or screwdrivers, but they would not employ any of those articles for murder if it weren't for something in their mind that pushed them to do so.

I hope I never have the occasion to meet one in real life. On paper, however, I'm fine if the encounters continue.

Happy reading!


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