So, much to it's delight it came home with us to live on our nightstand, next to a boisterous alarm clock and a lotion bottle with a rather hollow personality. The book has proven true to it's sales pitch. We read a couple chapters just before bed each night and murderous bed time stories make for disturbing dreams. They also make me rather jumpy on my nighttime bathroom trips. So why do we keep reading it?
Well, for one thing this book has taught me several lessons about parenting:
- DO NOT be a domineering mother
- If your child wets the bed late- get him to a psychologist
- If your child robs houses in order to steal girl's panties- get him to psychologist
- If your child thinks animals are giving him orders/has sex with them/kills them- get him to a psychologist
- If your child admires Nazis- get him to a psychologist
I have also learned several tricks of how to survive serial killer attacks:
- Don't be a prostitute
- Don't hitch hike ever
- If you're being stabbed or shot, play dead
- If you have an opportunity to fight/jump from a car, do it
- Really, seriously don't be a prostitute
I hope I never have the occasion to meet one in real life. On paper, however, I'm fine if the encounters continue.